Questioning the Corpse

I have always enjoyed taking strolls through graveyards, even in elementary school. Maybe it's easier to derive pleasure from graveyards when few people you know are buried in them.

Most graveyards I've seen are beautiful places. This is probably for the benefit of the living since the dead no longer appear to have the ability to appreciate them. I've always been curious about the ways in which people choose where they want to be buried. They always seem to plan for death from the perspective of the living, which makes sense; it's difficult to plan from the opposite perspective since so few of us have experienced it. "I want to be buried in the corner of that field under the oak tree. That will shield me from the Sun and keep me cool." What if dead bodies don't like to be cool? What if there is something about this state that makes them crave warmth? If so, most of us will be very disappointed once we get there.

The idea of burying dead people seems so odd when we take time to think about it. Centuries ago, the running tally of dead people was much lower, and we didn't think much about where to put them all. Human beings operate on a very limited time horizon; they don't think about these things until they become a problem. And so they put decomposing corpses in boxes and place them in the ground to stay there—potentially forever, depending on your religious beliefs.

What if human beings happen to be correct in their belief that the species will perpetuate itself forever? Where will we put all of the fresh corpses? Perhaps by then, we will have conquered Mars, and the private sector will pounce on the chance to ship them there. I imagine this will unfairly burden the lower classes, who will be unable to afford the transportation costs. Then we will debate the idea that all human beings were born with the right to be buried, which will clog up the courts for a few years. Over time, governments might decide to subsidize the shipment of corpses to faraway planets. The right will probably get upset about this, arguing that corpses of the lower class should be cremated instead. Radicals and other misfits might argue that everybody should be cremated.

In the future, will we continue to bury ourselves and construct more beautiful graveyards? Will we have to drive everywhere (assuming we are still burdened by the automobile) surrounded by cemeteries? I fear their ubiquity might detract from their beauty, and so I would probably take the stance in favor of cremation, making me a radical.

What if we do not gain access to Mars and are forced to dig up old corpses to replace them with fresh ones? Imagine the complications. How will we choose which corpses to dig up? Will it be based simply on duration of expiration, or will we value people based on their profession or social status, as we do now? And furthermore, will we all be guaranteed a limited duration of time in the ground? Perhaps we will place atomic clocks on gravestones to ensure everyone's right to a proper burial, as outlined in our amended Constitution.

I love walking through graveyards because corpses don't care much for conversation. They don't worry about the weather or ask me if they look fat in their burial attire, which they do not. But when I contemplate a future devoid of space to store them, their lack of words suddenly becomes a problem. They are, after all, the ones best suited to answer these questions.